Today I received back two decorative lotus flowers. I am staring at the box with mixed feelings. I am glad that they are back and yet….
This summer I attended a few festivals to celebrate life and bring fire ceremonies into the world. I love these festivals as places where like-minded souls meet and bring into life new ways of gathering and living together. Even though, I sleep poorly in a tent on crowded campsites and need to shield myself from different energies.
One way of doing so is to brighten up my tent with flowers and banners with symbols that express harmony and grace. Besides shielding, it also makes it easy to locate my place in the tent crowd. I came alone to the first festival which stimulated me to be in good contact with my neighbors. It was a diverse tribe and there were a lot of kids running around.
Then, one day when I returned to my tent, my two lotus flowers were gone, ripped from their socket. It startled me. How could anyone on such a festival like this, steal flowers? Thoughts raced through my brain, and I concluded that probably some small children came by, noticed beautiful flowers, and followed their instinct of picking them just like you would with flowers in a field. That thought soothed me and I started to look out for my lotus flowers elsewhere on the campsite. But no, no lotus flowers anywhere. Back home, I threw away the sockets.
Fast forward to the next festival where I attended in a workshop organized by one of my
neighbors from the previous festival. She had created a round altar in the middle of the workshop tent to symbolise The Wheel of Life. While I am listening, my eyes focus on the altar, and I see two lotus flowers. My brain registers Two lotus flowers. I used to have such lotus flowers. And then my thoughts dwindle onto other things.
It was not until a week later, in a silent moment, that the insight came: these lotus flowers were mine but now I am too late to verify and act. Or am I?
My brain is triggered in an accusatory mode. I am sure that she stole them from me. She
probably felt jealous for something and figured that she would get even by stealing these flowers from me…and on and on it goes.
I am confused and ask a friend for advice, and she asks: What is it you want now?
Mmmmm, on the surface I want to accuse her of theft and make her plead guilty just so that I feel better, but I can see the point that if I start accusing, I will probably get a negative answer out of defence and will never know whether my intuition was right. And to be honest, I do not know what happened and how these lotus flowers have come to her.
Digging a bit deeper, I realised that I would like to know whether my intuition was right. Are these lotus flowers mine?
So, I reach out with a message and ask: Could it be that those lotus flowers are mine?
On paper, these words provide a neutral stance. No accusation. If I had picked up the phone, I probably would have gone astray, allowing my anger to take over.
A few days later the answer arrives: Indeed, it could very well be the case that these lotus flowers are mine with some explanation on how these flowers were left on the festival etc. Wow! For a moment I feel the liberation of having been right.
But, in no time, my brain is triggered again, and all kinds of accusatory comments fly by. Ok, back to square one, you set the intention that it is about finding out whether your intuition was right.
And you have the confirmation now, you were right, why continue?
Does it matter?
My brain growls while from my heart the story of Gautama de Buddha where he is being spit in the face by an angry man comes up. The Buddha does not react and merely smiles at him. This infuriates the man and he shrieks at the Buddha: Why are you not getting angry? I am spitting on you! And the Buddha answers: Why should I be angry? If you buy a gift for someone who does not take it, to whom does that gift belong? The man answers: well, to me. Right, said the Buddha.
The same counts when you give someone your anger. If that person does not accept your anger, the anger falls back on you as it was initially yours to give.
Does it matter?
Buddha could have said that in my case that person probably has to play
something out with me. Allow it to happen and stop it right here. Do not be disturbed, do not be distracted. Continue to follow your way as if nothing happened. I tell my brain that I want to stop it because it matters. It matters on the path to find harmony and grace.
And these lotus flowers in the box? For a moment or so I was tempted to just throw them out in an act of anger. But now, having listened to the Buddha, I keep them, and even though they are damaged, these symbols of harmony and grace will brighten up my tent again this coming week when I attend a fire ceremony.
Want more of this? Come and join a SoufFire Ritual at Embodied Empowerment.
SoulFire Ritual Day. A gathering in ceremony around the Fire to connect and replenish our
energy while we transition through the seasons.
The next SoulFire Ritual event is on Sunday 22 September from 14.00 til 17.30 hours.
For more information and tickets see the
For more about Rita Fire Woman
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